Skye Idehen-Osunde’s Insights on Psychological Safety at the 2025 Facilitation Lab Summit
At the 2025 Facilitation Lab Summit, Skye Idehen-Osunde led an empowering session titled Building Trust and Credibility: Creating Psychological Safety in Facilitation. Known for her dynamic approach and expertise in fostering inclusive spaces, Skye’s session captivated attendees and offered practical insights into facilitating with authority and authenticity.
Skye began by energizing the room with a fun icebreaker, inviting everyone to stand up and move to the beat of a song. The lighthearted activity set a positive tone for the session and got participants engaged right from the start. Once the group was warmed up, Skye introduced the session’s main theme: how facilitators can build psychological safety and credibility within any group they lead.
With a focus on practical techniques, Skye guided participants through strategies to create spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and respected. She emphasized the importance of being vulnerable and authentic as a facilitator—acknowledging when you don’t have all the answers and ensuring the room feels safe for all perspectives.
Skye’s session was rooted in the idea that credibility and psychological safety go hand in hand. She shared her personal experiences with pop-up rules, ground rules established at the beginning of a session to foster openness and trust. These simple agreements, she explained, create a foundation for vulnerability, inclusion, and active participation.
Throughout the session, Skye led participants in several interactive activities that demonstrated these principles. One of the most engaging activities, Likes and Dislikes, asked attendees to find someone from a different table, share something personal, and connect over their mutual interests. This low-stakes interaction not only helped people break the ice but also established the kind of environment where vulnerability and connection could thrive.
Skye also stressed the need for facilitators to be mindful of the group’s energy and to adjust their approach when necessary. Whether working with internal or external groups, facilitators must understand the dynamics at play and ensure that everyone feels empowered to speak up, especially when difficult or sensitive topics arise.
A powerful moment of the session involved an exercise where participants reflected on their own fears and insecurities as facilitators. Skye encouraged the group to write down their fears and then symbolically “toss” them away. This activity not only allowed individuals to acknowledge their concerns but also served as a reminder that facilitators must continually work to release these fears in order to show up as their best selves.
The session concluded with a Safety Net Pledge, where participants made a collective commitment to uphold psychological safety and credibility in their own work. Skye reinforced the idea that building safety is an ongoing process that requires reflection, adaptation, and a willingness to grow.
Skye’s session offered invaluable tools and insights for facilitators at any level. Her dynamic energy, combined with practical strategies for building trust and safety, left attendees with a deep understanding of how to create environments where everyone can thrive.
Watch the full video below:
Transcript of Skye’s Session:
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Thank you all. So I need everybody to stand up. Because it’s day one, I need you to do a little dance. Raise the roof. Do what you got to do. Let’s go. Y’all know this song, right? I feel like I need more energy. What’s your name? Danny? Danny. Come here, Danny. Danny… Danny… There you go. Oh. Oh, you out dancing me, Danny? I love it. All right. Thank you all for humoring me. Thank you, Steven. Give a round of applause to the DJ. Thank you all so much.
Again, my name is Skye Idehen-Osunde. I’ll be on stage, I’ll be down here, I’ll be walking throughout the crowd. But I’m so excited to be here tonight really talking about the safety net, what it means to build psychological safety and credibility as a facilitator. Anyone need that? A lot of us are internal facilitators. Some of us are external facilitators and consultants. And so there needs to be an air of what it means to walk in this space with authority and own it. Okay? So that’s what we’re going to talk about today.
One of the things I want to be able to do is just give you an opportunity to get to know folks at your table and in the space. And so we’ll be doing a lot of interactive activities. And so I would want us to kick off with an opener, which I like to call likes and dislikes. And what I would love for you to do is I want you to get up and find someone at a different table, because you’re going to be at your table a lot. All day, right? So I want you to be able to interact and get to know someone else in this space. It might also help with your bingo card, like take notes, [inaudible 00:01:49]. But I want you to just introduce yourself, your name, your current role, what you’re doing, what brought you here, and what you’re hoping to get out of the session. And one thing I want you to share is with one like and one dislike. So an example, which I’ll share in the next slide when we come back is one of my likes, I really love anime.
Lily:
Hey.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Sailor Moon is my jam. Okay? Inuyasha? Come on, we’ll talk about it. So I love anime. That’s one of the things I love that you would just not assume to me. I’ve been to Comic Con, like I just love anime, okay? And one of my dislikes is, has anyone heard of trypophobia? What’s your name?
Lily:
Lily.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Lily. What is that?
Lily:
[inaudible 00:02:38].
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Trypophobia. That’s a fear of holes, clusters. Anyone look at like an ant pile or honeycomb or speckle on the ceiling and you get goosebumps and immediately you have stop looking at it? Yeah, that’s me. That’s me. So that’s one thing I just don’t like, a lot of clusters of things. It’s just not my thing. So what I want you to do is I want you to go ahead and stand up and find someone in a different part of the room and go ahead and follow the prompts. You’ll have five minutes.
I’d love to hear one or two pairs. What’s one thing you learned about the person you just met? Who would like to share?
EJ Peterschick:
EJ Peterschick from the Seattle area. I got the joy of talking to Tamara from the county area, Arizona. We were talking about, as Eric alluded to, the need for this skill set in the world more than ever, and by many names. And so we were actually talking about ways that you can bring your acumen and room facilitation to the political space and maybe being a trusted advisor, consultant to people in that sphere. You don’t necessarily have to do everything, but we have the skill. So I’m pretty excited to see where Tamara is going to go with it.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Alright. [inaudible 00:04:15] Tamara’s way. [inaudible 00:04:15] Yeah, clap it up. Clap it up. Thank you for sharing. Do we have another pair? Yes. Galen, right?
Galen:
Galen.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Galen. Heywood?
Galen:
Heygood.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Heygood. Hey, good.
Galen:
So we got Annie Love there. So Annie’s loves with Annie Love. And I thought it was an interesting contrast. The thing that she loves to do is climb mountains and go to great heights. And you know those kind of people are ultra aggressive. No losing, not on my watch, but yet the things she came to this conference for was to become a better listener, so I think that’s [inaudible 00:04:52].
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Wonderful. Thank you for sharing. All right, so again, we want to continue building connections, getting to know each other, utilizing the bingo cards to use that as a breaker to engage in conversation. And so we’re asking for you to be open to that through our time together today. A little bit about me. My name is Skye. I do facilitation in my business that I’ve had for four years. I love what I do. I tend to work around creating psychologically safe spaces and ensuring that everyone that I interact with feel heard, valued, and celebrated. I’ve worked with a lot of great companies, lots of corporate, lots of non-profit. And so, one of the things I love about facilitation is that I don’t necessarily need to be the expert at the company or the work, but I need to be an expert at what it needs to bring teams together to make sure that people feel safe and heard and valued in interactions with me coming in as an external facilitator.
Some of the things again that I like, dislike, and get to be a part of the conversation is I love food, obviously. I love to travel. So if anyone’s looking for wish fairy, like the cheapest way to travel anywhere, come find me to work for a travel startup. I love community and my faith is really the foundation of everything I do. Dislikes, I don’t like anything from the sea. Okay? Don’t ask me if I like shrimp. Don’t ask me if I eat sushi. No, none of the above. Okay? Again, honeycombs, butterflies, birds, anything that flutters, we need a separate place. Just don’t let it be around me. Okay? You’re going to see me doing a little dip and a dive if I see birds or anything coming towards me. Okay?
So on today’s journey, we’re going to go ahead and talk about what it means to really create a safe space. So we’re going to talk about the importance and the purpose of pop-up rules. We’re going to talk about what it means to define psychological safety. We’re going to talk about what the safety net is and how credibility intertwines in all of that. And then we’re all going to end with a safety net pledge. Sound good?
All right, so pop-up rules are really an opportunity to create a safe space in a short, intentional way. And so I can create a pop-up for this particular session. You can have pop-up or ground rules or agreements for the day. And so for this particular session, I really want us to be in alignment and on the same page of being fully present. I know we’re using phones, all of that, but you need take a call, step out, no checking in on baby boy in the middle of the session. So really trying to be as present as possible, respecting all the voices and all perspectives. Really this idea, I don’t know if folks are on social media, this idea of listen and we don’t judge, right? So this is a no-judgment zone. So again, being open to hearing all those perspectives and when you’re hearing different perspectives and different voices, making sure that we’re not judging.
Vulnerability is the new cool. I love it. I love when people are able to be their most authentic selves. Going into, leaning authentically into this session and our time together. If you don’t know something, say you don’t know it. I’m a facilitator. If you ask me something I don’t know, I’m going to be like, “That’s a great question. I don’t have the answer for that, but I will follow up with you.” And so sometimes it’s really important for us to really be vulnerable and be transparent and lean into that fully. And then SpongeBob “facilitator” Pants. Okay? So just be sponge, just soak it in. Okay? I wish I had a SpongeBob outfit. I would’ve really put it on for this presentation, but I didn’t think it was appropriate. So that’s why I wore yellow. See what I did there?
All right. So are there any other pop-up rules that you feel like could be included or that you would utilize in spaces where you’re facilitating? Is it Lily?
Lily:
Lily?
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Lily. Go for it.
Lily:
I’d like to add to the we listen and we don’t judge self-editing. So don’t judge yourself, like come authentic, come vulnerable. Don’t edit what you’re going to say if you perceive you’ll be judges.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Yeah, that’s good. Can we snap to that? Because I think sometimes as facilitators, we are so much in our heads that maybe in the middle of a session we might’ve said the wrong thing or that phrase didn’t come out correctly or your slides messed up and you’re like in your head trying to be present and you’re like, “Oh my God, I can’t believe I made that mistake.” And you’re hearing that talk throughout your time. And so we want to make sure that we’re releasing that and that we’re leaning into it is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to show humanity and humility in the way you show up as a presenter. That’s how you connect. That aids in how you are building credibility.
All right, so as we look at this really blurry picture, what do you see here? What do you see here? Look really close. If you squint your eyes, you could see it. What do you see here? Just shout it out. Frustration.
Audience member:
Chaos.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Chaos. Conflict.
Audience member:
Out of focus.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Out of focus. Look, you see what I did there? I didn’t do that on purpose, but I see how you came and saved me there. Thank you.
Speaker 6:
Angst.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Angst. Tell me about angst.
Speaker 6:
I’m looking at that guy in the back there. He looks miserable. Just not having a good time, not enjoying the time with this group.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Just angst. If you look at it really closely, it kind of looks like Eric. I did that on purpose too. I saw the picture, I said, “That’s the one.” What else are we seeing?
Audience member:
Laptop. Stand still.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Laptop. Stand still. Unengaged.
Audience member:
Unused sticky notes.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Unused sticky notes. Overuse of sticky notes, right? What’d I hear?
Audience member:
No facilitator.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
No facilitator.
Audience member:
No eye contact.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
No eye contact.
Galen:
This is what it looked like after we traded Luca Dungeon.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
I love it. So there’s a lot that we’re seeing in this, right? So as facilitators, in order for us to really come into a space and be credible and to create a safe space, we need to be able to really understand and curate what that space and energy feels like. We need to come in with our toolkit, which we’ll do a few activities today to prepare you for what that looks like so we never get to a space like this. Because how deflating is it as a facilitator to look at a group and they’re completely unengaged or they’re not really paying attention or they’re feeling the chaos in the space?
It’s not a good feeling. And then it goes back to that negative talk in life, the self-defeating feeling of like, I’m not meeting the expectations and I’m not getting closer to the outcome that I came here for. And so we want to move to a space, again, think of this as being blurry of, again, there’s engagement, there’s joy. Going what Eric said, we want joy in this space. What are some other things you see in this?
Audience member:
Shared ideas.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Sticky notes.
Audience member:
Shared ideas.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Shared ideas.
Audience member:
Feels effective. They’re listening to each other.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Effective. Effective listening. Listening to each other.
Audience member:
Smiling.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Say it again?
Audience member:
Smiling.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Smiling.
Audience member:
Eye contact.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Eye contact, right?
Audience member:
One conversation.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
One conversation. Collaboration. I heard that in the back. And so when we’re effective at creating this safe space, when we’re effective as coming in as the expert and being very credible and making sure that we’re connecting with people in the room, and we come in with a plan and a structure of what we’re doing, how we’re doing it, and how we’re going to move the group towards their outcome, you get this. Right? And so we have to come in prepared. And so we’ll talk a little bit more about why it’s required to really understand what it means to bring in the safety net. So I want to bring up, I don’t know if anyone’s seen the session labs report of facilitation. Anyone’s seen that? It’s really good.
Since I was one of the thousand people who participated in it because I just love facilitation, and the research in that is really good. So if you have not seen the session last stated facilitation report, it just came out within the week. Feel free to look at that. So as Brene Brown says, “Who we are is how we lead.” Who we are is how we lead. And it says, “I would stretch it further to say who we are is how we facilitate.” So I don’t want to get in the weeds because I also do a lot of diversity, equity and inclusion, facilitation, but how we show up a hundred percent dictates on how the room moves. So what are we bringing in? What are the biases that we’re checking at the door? What is the knowledge that we’re bringing into this space? How are we holding folks accountable to harmful behavior? It really boils down to how we operate outside of that facilitative space.
And so we want to make sure that we’re doing everything in our power to be reflective, to be self-aware, to really understand our triggers as facilitators, what are those sticky topics that you’re just fearful of or you don’t feel as comfortable with?
Really being very in tune to what that is then gives you an opportunity to then prepare for that. So what are your kryptonites? And really understanding that gives you the opportunity to then turn them into superpowers. And so you need to really understand who you are as an individual. You shape the space. As an external facilitator, internal facilitator, they’re looking to you for direction. And so when we think about that, we have to really have an understanding of what psychological safety is. So psychological safety at its core is really a shared belief that we’re creating a safe space, that we’re making sure people feel seen, valued, and heard.
And we’re doing it without judgment. We’re creating space for risk-taking, take pictures, do all the things you need to do, but we’re doing it without this air of embarrassment or fair. People at its core, when we’re bringing groups together, it’s a really special opportunity. I’ve always said this. When you go home to your dinner tables, when you go home to family holidays, gatherings, you’re likely not having really diverse conversations. And so when you have an opportunity to be in workspaces or in opportunities like this where you’re voluntarily coming in, it gives you an opportunity to stretch, to practice, to understand and hear different perspectives. And so the more you’re able to place yourself in these spaces, the more you’re going to be able to pick up the tools necessary to then inherently create those psychologically safe spaces. But again, it starts with you. If you’re not a safe person, you’re not going to be able to create a safe space. Okay?
So here’s some information on why it’s impactful. So 26% of employees feel safe to take risk without fear. Only 26%. It’s like one in four. So I want you to put yourself in this in your spaces, maybe where you’ve worked before, organizations you’ve been a part of, right? There’s probably been some hesitancy. I mean, it’s 2025, let’s be real. Woo, right? So we’re probably in spaces right now where we’re not really fully comfortable speaking up or speaking out or saying anything. We’re just kind of in observation mode right now. But there’s some people that perpetually stay in that. And so how do we reach those individuals to make sure that they feel safe enough to take risks and to have conversations or to ask the questions that they want to ask without fear of judgment.
76% of organizations have higher psychological safety and they see an increase in engagement. So that’s really important. If I feel like I belong in my organization or my team, or I’m an external facilitator and I’m creating a safe space where people are excited to just walk into the room and they’re like, “Ooh, I like this energy. I’m putting myself down. I’m fully engaged in this person,” they’re likely going to be more engaged. And so the more we can lean into that psychological safety, the easier it’s going to be for us to then show up as credible and as the leader or the expert or the authority figure in that space in that setting. Anybody got $1.6 billion in their account? I wish I did. But fear of speaking up. When we’re thinking about bottom line, when you’re going to your organizations and where you’re going to your teams, if revenue is everything, right?
Businesses will not survive without people and without the product or the service. And so if there are moments where we’re not coming together in collaborative ways where we’re talking and dialing into the bottom line, nothing is going to change. We’re going to risk losing profit and this is, again, data that shows that. So where does credibility come into play? Where does credibility come into play? I have a question. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Yes. What came first? The chicken? You sure? You sure? Well, what if the egg came first, right? It is a question. We don’t really need an answer, but it’s really this idea that they’re interwoven. It doesn’t really matter what came first. It’s the fact that you need both, whether you’re internal or external.
And so what I would love for us to do is I want you to be able to talk at your table, amongst your table. I want you to be able to think about your role, right? Show of hands, how many people work in corporations, organizations? Just so I know. Okay. How many folks are consultants? Cool, cool. How many people are kind of like, “I’m trying to figure it out”? Okay. All right. Anybody just start consulting? Okay. Clap it up.
Okay, anybody get a promotion to do more facilitation at work? Okay, clap it up. We got to go both sides, right? But what I want you to do is I want you to have table talk, and I again, want you to have toolkits that you can utilize. And so a lot of these activities that I’m going to do, I’m going to give you alternatives. And so you’re able to maybe do a 1-2-4-All structure or a TRIZ, which is a liberating structure. I don’t know if folks who know that, but a 1-2-4-All is that you have solo time, paired time, and four people kind of go into a small group. And then you have group discussion, and that’s timed. And that allows for diverse perspectives. It gives you time to have some solo thoughts. So you’re going to the group prepared with some ideas. And TRIZ really talks about this idea of what’s the worst possible thing that you can do as a facilitator to hinder psychological safety?
So it’s like you could be talking to me and be like, “Hey, stop talking.” I’m like, oh my God, no one else is going to talk after that. That’s like the worst thing you can do as a facilitator. So those are some examples of things you can do. But for our time together right now, I’d love for you to take about a minute to really do some self-reflection of what are some small actions you can take to strengthen psychological safety while also building credibility in your work, in your role. What are some things that you can do that you want to do, you have a desire to do in your role? And while we do that, Steven’s going to play a little light music, and then we’re going to transition into table discussion for about four minutes. So I’ll let you know when we transition for that. Okay? So your minute starts now.
So I would love to hear from a few tables on maybe what’s one thing that came up in discussion? Who would like to share? I’d love to hear from one of the back tables. Or the front, depending on where you’re standing. Yeah?
Harry:
I’ll give one example that was pretty interesting.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
What’s your name?
Harry:
Oh, my name is Harry.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Harry. All right.
Harry:
One thing that was really interesting was the idea of, I think it was bringing metaphors into the play of describing things in ways that people can relate to really easily. So it was asking if we were to look at our challenge currently as a diamond and be able to flip our perspective, allowing someone to think about flipping their perspective and the idea of holding a diamond or moving around and seeing it from someone’s new lenses just kind of allows people to feel more comfortable with the idea of these more general terms that we may say, like wear a new hat or flip a perspective. It just allows people to kind of visualize. I think that was one takeaway that I had from the group.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
I love that. You have to speak in the language where people are going to be able to understand it. And so if someone’s a visual learner, I love metaphors. And so usually when someone’s explaining something in a metaphoric way, I’m like, “Oh my God, I could totally see you in the boat, dude.” Thank you for doing that. So it helps for depending on who you’re working with in explaining it that way. So thank you for sharing. Who else would like to share? Love someone from this table. Let’s hear from your table. What was something that came up in your group? Oh, Erin, that back table. Mm-hmm. Y’all got saved. They were like, “Crap. They came back here.”
Speaker 8:
One thing that was shared here was just making sure that everyone in the room from the beginning understands that it’s also their responsibility to hold up that safety net.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Come on. Wait, say that again. Say that again.
Speaker 8:
That everyone in the room is responsible for, what’d you say? We bring the net, but everyone in the room is responsible for holding it up.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Okay. Put that on a shirt. Thank you. Everybody is responsible for holding it up. Thank you for sharing. Again, this is just a really good activity to hear different perspectives because you just never know what angle someone is looking at something or how they’re processing or understanding or learning. And it’s also a really great way to understand what people want to improve in. So if we’re talking about one of the actions you want to take to strengthen, that means that it’s essentially a kryptonite or area of growth. And so it’s really good to understand that about your colleagues. So thank you all for doing that.
So again, just to highlight that psychological safety and credibility really are intertwined with each other. So credibility builds on psychological safety, psychological safety strengthens credibility. And without psychological safety, credibility erodes. So we really, as facilitators really need to understand the spaces that we’re going into, understanding who’s in the room, understanding the outcomes, understanding the purpose of the space before we even get there, and then how do we make sure that we’re showing up as the expert and as that credible, reliable individual.
And so I want us to really talk about what it is to have the safety net in action. And that really talks about how do we prepare. How do we prepare the net? And so when you’re thinking about preparing for the net, I mean there’s so many different ways to think about that, but it’s like all of the things you want to do before you go to the session and using partners and technology and people to really understand what you’re walking into. And so it’s good to learn about the group’s climate. So you can do that by doing surveys, one-on-one interviews, really understanding why even why am I here? Especially as an external facilitator, what are your pain points? Why did you reach out to me? What are you looking to do? What are you looking to change? So really understanding their pain points, the challenges that they’re currently going through as an organization, as a team, as a group, it’s so important because then you know what they’re challenged with. And then you can come in with the solution. Okay?
You want to establish ground rules that promote inclusivity and trust. Going back to those pop-up rules, a really great way that I’ve seen, it’s like if you already have established teams or established groups, you’re like, “Well, how do I do that? We’ve been meeting for a year already.” Right? It’s time to have a reset. “Hey, guys, I went to this really great opportunity and I learned a lot about facilitation, and I’d love for us to do a reset as a team.” And so, one of the things I’d like for us to do is reestablish our purpose while we’re meeting, while we’re getting together. And I’d also like to reestablish what it means to meet in a safe way. And so I’d like to reestablish collaboratively as a team, as a group, what are some ground rules that are going to ensure safety, that’s going to ensure we feel valued as a team, that’s going to ensure that we’re learning together and we’re not working in silos.
Whatever that pain point is, the more you know, the more you can then curate what those ground rules or those pop-up rules that it’s going to satisfy and serve the group that you’re working with. And so the more you know before, the better. And lastly, it’s designing activities that encourage both divergence, so like opening up the conversation and then moving into that zone where you’re just collecting as much information as possible, but then bringing the group together towards decisive action. There’s no way you’re going to move a group towards decisive action if you do not know what their pain points are and why they’re even meeting. And there’s sometimes you don’t even need to meet. That’s another conversation. But really understanding what that purpose is and knowing that information before you step into the room or before you go into that Zoom or Microsoft Teams or whatever that platform is, the more you know, the better.
Everybody with me? Awesome. Next is really how do we strengthen the net? So what does that look like during the interaction, during the session? Start with low stakes participation? So the likes and dislikes, those openers, the bingo. This is a great passive. I love passive programming. So this is passive programming. You don’t necessarily have to have any lifting of this. It’s on the group. So you create the ground rule that says, “Hey, I want you to be fully invested in this opportunity. There’s a program. Take advantage of the bingo card so you can meet however many boxes here are people.” And so that gives you an opportunity to have some passive programming. One activity that I love to do, which I’ve shared with a few in this room, is when I do full day workshops, during lunch, there’s always programming going on. I don’t just let them hang out and hibernate.
No, we’re not doing that. So I like to do intentional interactions. And so just a simple list of questions that are specific to the group I’m working with. But sometimes people are awkward, especially if the group doesn’t know each other. They want to not be programmed to the entire day. But there’s moments where you can have some interactive or passive programming like this or having a list of questions. Douglas gave us a box of cards yesterday of deeper talk, like cards that you can bring in. So there’s a lot of things you can do, again, to create that connection that allows for people to feel safe with one another. The more I feel connected, the more safe I feel with you. And as a facilitator coming in, whether I’m internal or external, I’m bringing these resources to you. And as the group starts to build that space, guess who they’re going to attribute that to? Because they probably weren’t doing it before.
And they’re going to look at you as a facilitator, like thank you so much for being the solve to what’s been happening with our team, which again, builds credibility. Next, you want to monitor. It comes easier for some folks, that intuitiveness of when the group shifts in energy. Or it’s like, “Ooh, somebody just said a crazy comment.” And then you saw all the faces kind of shift over here. And so sometimes you have to pause as a facilitator to call out, speak to, address in a very nice and inclusive way, what just happened in the space. So it might be, “That was a really, really complex question you just asked, and I felt like the group shifted. Are there other thoughts around that question?” Or, “Wow, I didn’t realize your company is going through layoffs right now and it feels heavy in the room now that we’re talking about goal setting. Tell me what’s going on for the group.”
And this is real life examples. I’ve done that. “Well, we don’t want to talk about goals. We don’t know if we’re going to be here next week.” And I’m like, “That’s valid. Let’s talk about it. Now, let’s figure out how we can make some goals for the organization, but also for you personally in the event that you are transitioning. How are you going to be ready?” And so the more you know about what’s going on in this space, the more comfortable you are in really pulling those things out, the easier it’s going to be for you throughout the session to continue to navigate and adapt to what’s happening in the space and in the room.
And lastly, I want you to be able to use nonverbal cues that goes back into that intuitiveness and verbal affirmations to really reinforce psychological safety. So shoutouts to Kat, who’s going to be doing a presentation. Kat, wave to the folks. She’s going to be doing a presentation tomorrow around nonverbal communication and listening. But it’s really important for us to really understand that and to strengthen that muscle and that skill set because a lot happens between the lines in sessions, the little looks that happen, or you have an executive that walks into the room and everyone sits up, right? Like, “Oh, the CEO walked in.” And no one now is being authentic and everyone’s being politically correct.
And so I’m the facilitator. I’m going to be like, “Hey, CEO, thank you so much for coming and supporting, but I need you to go because I need this room to move towards decisive decision-making without the power dynamic influence that just popped up.” And so sometimes we really need to understand what that looks like. And one of the things I also like to say too is as you’re presenting, be mindful of how you engage with the group. So someone might make a comment and you’re like, “Man, that was really great. Thank you so much for contributing that.” And then the next person makes a comment, it’s like, “Thanks.”
So you want to be even keel in how you, again, that contributes to the safety of the space because now that person might feel, “Well, I thought I had a really good contribution to the meeting and I just got a thanks, and we just kept it moving.” And so making sure that we’re acknowledging folks. There’s even keel in our responses. I’m very high energy all the time, if you haven’t noticed. But I also like to make sure that when I feel someone’s being vulnerable or I see them challenging themselves, I say that. I say, “Thank you for being vulnerable in this moment.” I say, “Thank you for sharing,” a lot. Probably said it like 30 times. I don’t know if anyone’s written that down, but that’s one of the things I like to do because it takes courage to speak up in a group setting. Especially, do y’all know each other?
Exactly, right? So it takes courage to be able to speak in a larger group. And so being able to honor those folks who are speaking up. But then there’s ways in which I want to make sure that everyone is contributing. So there’s people who don’t want to raise their hand and don’t want to speak. And so that’s why there’s intentionality of making sure that you’re paired up or you’re partnered up and that you’re at least meeting one or two new people in this space before you leave in a session. So there’s intentionality behind how you make sure people feel supported, seen, and valued in and during the session.
All right. So one of the things I want to do, we will talk about how we close the session, but I just want to pop in an activity that you can do during a session that really helps to build credibility and really helps to build that safety. And so I like to call it the net of support, and it’s kind of like the trust the line activity. Anyone ever do the trust the line activity? So what I’m going to do is I’m going to ask you a series of questions that refer to psychological safety and credibility. And I want you to take note of folks who are standing up in some of the questions that I’m going to ask. I want you to make eye contact. I want you to be really aware. This is where that somatic stuff comes in. That was a lot of layers to facilitation.
Like how is your body responding in some of the questions that I ask? Is there hesitancy in even standing up? Because that also alludes to that vulnerability piece. How are you challenging yourself to step out of your comfort zone? Okay? Again, we listen and we don’t judge. There’s no judgment here, okay? I’m not also going to ask really scary questions. I feel like that’s what I’m prompting. I promise you I’m not. We’re going to keep it very light here, but in your groups as you are building. So I’ve had to do lemon squeeze conversations and lemon squeeze moments, and anyone ever have a lemon squeeze with the team? No one knows what that is? Okay? This is a higher ed. I used to work in higher ed.
So it is when you have to, the lemon is just so bitter. Everybody is just salty, bitter. Everybody’s being mean and nasty. And so we got to squeeze the lemon and turn it into lemonade because we got to move on, right? Whew. I have stories for days. I used to work at Temple University as a resident director. I had 25 RAs, I had 5,600 first year students, and I was a complex director. And the first week somebody stole a cop car. I said, “What did I sign up for?”
And so with 25 students, first, second and third year students, people dating each other, there’s just drama. This has nothing to do with the work. Stop coming to my office and gossiping about each other. We need to have a lemon squeeze. And so in that lemon squeeze, part of that is to make sure that everyone just has an understanding of who you are. And so we had really deep questions where people are like boohoo crying, but we’re not going to do that. We’ll save that for part two, this facilitation subject. So I would love for everyone as I ask questions to be able to stand. And again, I want you to take note of your energy, take note of your emotions that might come up. I want you to jot down comments or thoughts that come across, because then we’re going to do kind of an activity after that. Okay? Everybody with me? Everybody with me?
Audience:
Yes.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
So much better. Thank you. All right. So I want you to stand up if you’ve ever hesitated to share an idea out of fear or judgment. All right? Can we play a little light music in the background? A little low. Little low. Okay. Everybody, you making eye contact? My friend would be like, “Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.” Okay. Stand up if you’ve had to navigate… Oh, excuse me. Sit down. Sit down. Sorry. Don’t read it yet. Don’t read it. Don’t read it yet. Don’t read it. How do I go back? Let’s go back. Don’t read it. Don’t read it. Don’t read it. All right. Y’all didn’t see it, right? Okay, so we got that. Everybody saw each other? We made eye contact. We good?
Okay, so I want you to stand up if you’ve had to navigate internal politics while trying to create a safe space. Let me come stand up on the stage at this point, right? Hold on. Whew, child. Let me tell you, I got stories for days working at some of the companies I’ve had to work at, right? Yeah. Are we looking at each other? Making eye contact? I want you to look at people at the back of the room, the front of the room. Okay. All right. Take a seat. Take a seat. Oh, my lanta. All right, stand up if you’ve intentionally ignored conflict in a space as a facilitator. People are already standing up like, “Whew, that’s me.” And kept it going to keep the peace.
“Let’s just move on. Ooh, I don’t like drama. I don’t want to run to the fire. Let’s move on.” Okay, making eye contact. Again, I want you to think of what memories are popping up for you. What emotion is coming up for you? What time are you going back? Someone’s clutching their chest like, “Oh, Lord.” Okay. All right. Have a seat. Stand up. If you’ve been in a meeting where an idea was ignored only to be repeated by someone else and praised. How dare they? Are you kidding me? I just said that 32 seconds ago, right? Make eye contact. Yeah, you can’t keep looking at the same person, y’all. Can’t keep looking at the same person. All right, take a seat. Take a seat.
All right. Stand up if you felt like you needed to prove your expertise as a facilitator. Stand up if you’ve needed to prove your expertise as a facilitator. Just a quick plug to Voltage Control. Get your certification. So you just pull the paper out, right? “Let me tell you something. I got a certification.” All right? All right, everybody seated? All right. Stand up if you’ve seen someone hold back from participating because they weren’t sure their perspective would be valued. All right, we looking around. Are we looking around? All right, take a seat. I want you to stand up… Oh, we did that one. Stand up if you’ve ever questioned whether a group you were facilitating truly felt safe to share openly.
Yeah, I do a lot of racial equity work. And whoop, “No recording, no AI, nothing. Changing my name. Black the screens out.” That’s exactly how the conversations are going now. Yeah. All right, take a seat. All right. Stand up. If you’ve ever felt pressure to balance inclusion with authority in facilitation. Oh, a lot of y’all took some deep sighs on this one. Okay. Write down how you’re feeling. Write down whatever just popped up for you. All right, take a seat. Stand up if you facilitated a group where people were skeptical of your role or expertise. It’s like, what is a facilitator?
I need to stand up because my mom was this morning like, “So what are you talking about? What is a facilitator?” I’m like, “Ma, I’ve been doing this for four years.”
Audience member:
I got a certification.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
Yeah, I got a certification from Voltage Control. All right, have a seat. Stand up if you’ve had to win over a tough group to gain their trust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we got a lot of laughs. Anybody else want to stand up? Any last? All right. Oh, we got one more. All right, have a seat. All right. Stand up if you’ve ever been challenged in a session and had to quickly adapt your approach. Ooh. Ooh, yeah. Are we looking around at everyone else who’s been challenged in the middle of a session? Ooh, Casey got a story. Okay? It’s like, “Halfway through they was trying to tell me all the things that I already knew,” right? All right. Have a seat. Have a seat.
So these are the questions that I want us to kind of process and marinate on because it’s really important to understand how we show up in facilitation. The more we can understand about the ways in which we’re triggered, or we have fears, or we have habits that maybe no longer serve us, like I avoid conflict so when there’s conflict in a session, I’m like, “Yeah, so how’s the weather? All right, let’s move to the next slide. Are we good?” Right? Versus leaning into that because sometimes you get the best decisions and the best connection sometimes through dissent.
And so we can turn the music off, my friend, maybe. Okay, thank you. And so what I’d love for us to do is really thinking about, so on your tables you should have, I’m going to use your table. So you should have, I wanted to be on brand a little bit. So we got a little basketball hoop, and then we have a soccer goal, and you should have a ton of pom-poms. Think of them as soccer balls and basketballs, and I want us to take… It is pouring. I want us to take an opportunity. So I want us to do about two minutes, and I want you to write down all of your fears, all of the things that have hindered you to being the best version of a facilitator that you could be. So maybe it’s negative self-talk, or maybe some of your fears is I run from conflict.
Or maybe it’s like, “Man, when they talk about politics, I tune out. I don’t want anything to do with it.” So whatever those fears are, this is for you and your table, but I want you to just list out all of the fears that you have when it comes to facilitation. Maybe it’s, “Man, I’m scared that my technology is going to crash on me as I facilitate. Man, I’m scared that I’m not going to have a Sarah,” because she’s doing a fabulous job. Can we give her a round of applause? I don’t have to take notes. So one of my fears, I’m going to be transparent, honest, and vulnerable, is sometimes I spell things wrong. And so I don’t need my credibility
to be knocked because I spelled because wrong, or I don’t know, a simple word that you should know how to spell.
And so I want you to really think about what are some of those fears that you’ve encountered through facilitation and through the work that you’ve done, and maybe current fears that you have and that you’re really maybe stuck in it and you don’t know how to navigate that. Okay? So I’m going to give you about two minutes to do that. We’re going to play some light music or maybe just listen to the beautiful sounds of rain. But you have two minutes that starts now listing all of your fears. All of your fears as a facilitator. I’d love for you to move throughout the space, and I want you to find two other partners. So we’re going to be triads as much as possible.
Take your list with you. All right. So what I’d love for you to do in your pods right now, in your triads, is I want you to lean into the vulnerability, right? This is a no judgment zone. I want you to be fully present. I want you to be listening to each other, and I want you to create safe spaces for each other and really sharing what are your fears. Okay? What are those fears? What are those hinders? What are those blocks that have been holding you back from being the best version of yourself as a facilitator? And then I want you, after that, what I want you to do is at each of the tables, there should be a few of these beautiful cups that my lovely friends put together for me this morning. And I want you to then throw away your fears or toss your fears.
Kobe Bryant, rest in peace. I want you to, someone to be the hoop or the goalie, and I want you to toss in your fears. Because at the end of the day, you’re not going to be able to show up as the best version of yourself. You’re not, again, going back to this idea of you bring the energy in. And so if you’re coming in blocked, if you’re coming in with this negativity, if you’re coming in with these fears, there’s no way you’re going to show up as the excellent facilitator that I know you’re destined to be. And so I want you to be able to toss away those fears. I want you to express them. I want you to let them go because there’s power in tongue, and there’s power in saying the things that are holding you back, but there’s also power symbolically throwing it away. Okay?
So we’re going to take about 10 minutes collectively to do this activity, and then we will move towards our close. Any questions? Y’all ready to share your deep, dark secrets? All right, your 10 minutes starts now. Thanks everyone. All right. If you haven’t already, start to toss your fears.
All right, everyone, has everybody tossed away their fears? Anyone feel lighter? Anyone feel like they’re going to the NBA or to play professional soccer? Anybody? Thank you all so much for doing that. I walked around and I heard some really great conversations. Thank you for leaning into that vulnerability and really trusting those that you were interacting with today. So with that, just give a round of applause, literally round of applause. Thank you for doing that. And so what I want us to do is I want you to spend, because we did the activity, but I’m always the facilitator to make sure we’re doing some self-reflection. And so I want you to take the next minute, first thing that comes to mind. What is the one thing you are going to be doing that’s going to enhance safety in the work that you do, and your credibility? What’s that one thing? I want you to write that down. That is just for you. First thing that pops to mind. What’s the one thing you’re going to do?
Something you’re going to do different. A new practice? Because fears will always be there, right? It’s mind over matter. Are you going to wake up today and say, “I’m going to choose fear,” or, “I’m going to choose faith,” right? Am I going to stay stuck in these maybe poor habits? Am I going to let myself fall into these previous patterns? Because you know better, you’re going to do better. And so we’re going to practice at least one new habit. And because we’re human, fears are always going to come back up. And so everyone should have a handy dandy stress ball.
In those moments where you’re feeling stressed or the fear is starting to creep back up, I want you to squeeze it and be like, “Mo more fear.” Just say it with me. Do it. Be silly. “No more. Ooh, go away fear.” Right?
Audience member:
No more fear.
Skye Idehen-Osunde:
No more, right? And I want you to do a little toss up, and that’s what I want you to walk into your meeting, your session with a new mind frame, a new mindset, knowing that you can do it, knowing that you could be successful, knowing that you have all the tools necessary to show up to be the best version of yourself as a facilitator. And one of the things that I want us to do, because that’s an activity that we can do during, but what does it look like when we’re closing the session? And part of it is sometimes you need to, I have Landy who’s in our facilitation program, and her name is Landy.
So I was like, how do we land the plane? So how do we land and close the session? Meaning, how are we going to make sure that people are reflecting on what they’ve learned? We’re not coming together for 90 minutes or a full day and you’re not leaving with anything. So we need to take moment of self-reflection and workshop time to really walk away with what’s something you’re going to do different? What’s something that inspired you? What’s something you learned from someone that you interacted with in this session? And so it’s really important as a facilitator that we’re always moving towards close. We’re always moving towards what are the next steps? What are the decisions that were made? And then we’re using tools to capture that.
Because we all know what happens when we leave a meeting, if it’s not on the calendar, if there’s not a follow-up, people just forget and there’s no action. So we always want to make sure that that happens, and that follows up with the following up. So as a facilitator, as the leader of the meeting, as the convener, we want to make sure that there is some sort of follow-up, whether it’s a thank you email or a thank you note for coming, shaking hands, making sure that you speak to everyone and have authentic relationship and conversation. It’s my desire in session to kind of listen to as many conversations as possible to be as present even throughout your experience. But we want to make sure that we’re closing that still maintaining those relationships, and one way is really just to send a thank you note for being a part of this.
And then again, it’s lastly ending with commitments. And so we already have the one thing that we’re going to do. And so when you’re closing out a session, making sure that there’s some sort of commitment, commitment to action that people are taking, or a call to action that people are taking once leaving that session. So with that, I want us to close with the safety net pledge. Not going to do a Pledge of Allegiance. There’s no flag. It’s 2025. We’re not doing all that. But what I would love for you to do is I’d love for you to stand up with energy as we come to a close with our session. And I want us in unison to read this pledge and to have this commitment moving forward from our time together today.
So with that, I’ll lead the way, but I’d love to hear all voices confidently and proudly because we’re all proud facilitators, whether we’re just starting out or we’re seasoned, everyone still needs to make a commitment to showing up as the best version of themselves. So with that, as a facilitator and a member of this community, I commit to fostering psychological safety in every space I lead. I will build credibility and trust with everyone I encounter. I will actively listen and model honesty and openness. I will empower voices and encourage engagement. I will use inclusive practices and tools that invite full participation. I will empower participants to transform insights into action, applying their learning to real-world challenges.
I will create an environment of continuous improvement. I will commit to continuous improvement by seeking feedback, reflecting on my facilitation, and adapting to evolving needs. I understand that creating safety is an ongoing journey, and I am committed to improving my approach to meet the evolving needs of those I facilitate.
And with that, I want you to remain committed. My favorite quote is, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” by the beautiful Maya Angelou. And so remember, as facilitators, we’re coming to the space. We are the change makers. We are the problem solvers. We are there to create solutions and also have fun, right? So with that, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you.
Audience member:
Great job.
Skye’s session at the 2025 Facilitation Lab Summit was a powerful reminder of how authenticity and psychological safety are essential to effective facilitation. Her session provided attendees with actionable strategies to create trust and engage with participants in meaningful ways, reinforcing the importance of credibility in any facilitative role.
