A Military Spouse’s Journey from Imposter Syndrome to Purposeful Leadership
I think the moment facilitation really came into focus for me was during a leadership program I attended with the George W. Bush Institute Veteran Leadership Program. It was a cohort-based experience, meeting once a month with around 30 leaders from the veteran and military family space. I went in feeling nervous—partly because I’m not a veteran, and there’s often this strange imposter syndrome in those spaces for military spouses like me. The apprehension was real. I wasn’t sure how they’d handle our group, knowing how much ego and posturing can come up in veteran-related settings.
But then we walked into that first session, and everything changed.
Our facilitator, Todd Connor, blew me away. He created a space where all of that posturing just disappeared. I remember thinking, “This isn’t just him being good at his job—there’s a method to this.” Todd had this incredible ability to structure the session in a way that made it safe for us to be vulnerable, to really show up as ourselves without the usual baggage we carry. What struck me even more was how intentional everything was. There was a clear framework that helped create this openness and connection, and it wasn’t by accident.
I didn’t know it at the time, but that experience planted a seed. Facilitation wasn’t just a skill—it was something powerful. It wasn’t about standing up and talking. It was about holding space, creating a container where real, transformative work could happen.
A Spark of Curiosity
After that first session, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Todd had created such an impactful environment for us. I was fixated on the structure behind what he did, so much so that I made a point to sit next to him on the bus ride to dinner that evening. I just had to know how he did it. He recommended Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering, and I devoured the book as soon as I could. It opened my eyes to the intentionality behind every step of a facilitation process. There was a purpose behind every choice he made, every activity we did.
That experience marked a turning point for me. I started to look at my own work through a new lens. I had already been working with groups, mostly through my role in military spouse organizations and my recent certification as an Enneagram teacher, but something clicked. There was this nagging feeling that I could be doing more—that I could weave facilitation techniques into my work to create deeper, more meaningful interactions.
The more I explored, the more I realized that facilitation wasn’t just a skill reserved for “charismatic” leaders. It was something anyone could develop with the right structure and tools. I started experimenting with different techniques, bringing them into my everyday work with veteran students and military-connected families, and I immediately noticed the difference.
Why I Chose Voltage Control
After diving deeper into facilitation and seeing its potential, I started looking for ways to develop these skills further. I had already read books and experimented in my own work, but I knew I needed a more structured approach. That’s when I remembered Voltage Control. A year or so before, I had briefly connected with them through my boss, Jason Dempsey, when we explored ways to engage military spouses in their facilitation programs. It had caught my attention, but at the time, I pursued a different professional development opportunity.
When the time came to choose again, the decision to go with Voltage Control felt right. I knew facilitation could be a game-changer for me—not just for my work with veteran students but also for my Enneagram teaching and consulting. I realized this certification would give me the framework and confidence to fully step into facilitation, whether in formal meetings or community settings. And I knew the Voltage Control team’s genuine interest in understanding and supporting the military community made them the perfect fit for me.
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A Transformative Experience
Going through the Voltage Control certification was nothing short of transformative. From the very first session, I knew I was in the right place. The program’s emphasis on purpose-driven facilitation resonated with me deeply. It wasn’t just about learning techniques—it was about understanding the “why” behind each step. I appreciated the space we were given to reflect on our personal journeys while still being exposed to powerful tools like Mural and Session Lab, which were new to me and quickly became my go-to resources.
One of my favorite parts of the program was the diverse group of participants. I worked alongside people from vastly different industries—engineers, nonprofit leaders, consultants—each bringing their own unique perspective. This diversity opened my eyes to how facilitation could be applied in so many different contexts. The breakout sessions were especially valuable, giving me the chance to test out ideas and collaborate in real-time with others. We formed strong connections, and I’m still in touch with a couple of my cohort partners today.
The moment that stands out the most was when we worked on identifying our purpose. It felt like everything I had been doing—facilitating Enneagram workshops, supporting veteran students, even my scattered career path—finally made sense. I had this huge realization that facilitation wasn’t something I was adding to my toolbox; it was something that had been with me all along, waiting to be refined and harnessed.
Bringing It All Together
The Voltage Control certification didn’t just give me new skills—it changed the way I approach everything, from leading meetings to interacting with students and colleagues. I used to think of facilitation as something only reserved for big workshops or formal gatherings, but now I see how it can be infused into everyday interactions. Whether I’m hosting an orientation for veteran students or running a team meeting, I bring those facilitation tools with me to create a more engaging and inclusive experience.
One of the biggest shifts has been in how I run our veteran student orientation sessions. I completely revamped them to focus more on building community and creating a safe space for students to connect. Instead of cramming 60 minutes full of information, I dedicate a big portion of the time to networking and engagement activities. The goal is no longer just to distribute information, but to break down barriers, make students feel comfortable, and help them connect with each other. The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, and it’s made such a difference in how students experience their transition into higher education.
Even in our internal team meetings, I’ve started to take on more of a facilitative role. I use tools like Mural to make things more interactive, and I’ve become the go-to person for creating agendas that foster real engagement. It’s not just about getting through the agenda anymore—it’s about creating a space where people can open up, collaborate, and solve problems together.
Looking Ahead: What’s Next?
As I look to the future, I’m excited about how I can continue expanding the work I’ve started. I’ve already integrated facilitation into my roles in higher education and my Enneagram teaching, but I know there’s still so much more to explore. My next focus is growing Mission Identity, my personal consultancy, where I bring facilitation and Enneagram insights to military spouses, veteran organizations, and eventually into more corporate and entrepreneurial spaces. I’m particularly passionate about working with women, helping them discover their purpose, and giving them the tools to navigate life’s transitions with clarity and confidence.
I also want to take what I’ve learned about creating safe, intentional spaces and apply it to more high-stakes environments, like leadership teams and organizational strategy sessions. Facilitation has proven to be a powerful tool for bringing people together, and I’m eager to continue helping others see its potential in transforming how they work, lead, and connect.
Conclusion
If you’re considering the Voltage Control certification, my advice is simple: do it. You don’t have to see yourself as a facilitator to benefit from this program. The skills you learn will transform how you show up in any role, whether it’s leading a team, hosting a workshop, or simply running a meeting. Facilitation is about creating spaces where people can connect, collaborate, and bring their best ideas forward—and that’s something everyone can benefit from. If you’re curious, you belong here. Take the leap, and you’ll find that facilitation has a place in every corner of your work and life.
