Creating Connection in a time of Detachment and Isolation

How Facilitation Skills Can Help You Forge Better Teamwork, Drive Innovation, and Enjoy Your Job

In today’s fast-paced and increasingly digital world, people often find themselves feeling disconnected from others, both in the workplace and their personal lives. The rise of remote work, the constant bombardment of information on social media, and the divisiveness of politics have only exacerbated these feelings of isolation and detachment. This disconnection is not only detrimental to our well-being but also poses significant challenges for organizations seeking to foster a collaborative and innovative environment. Now, more than ever, we must recognize the importance of fostering connection and nurturing relationships at work to repair the fractures that have formed in our society.

“We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.”

– Albert Schweitzer

By acknowledging the current state of disconnection and actively working to promote understanding, empathy, and collaboration, we can create a more inclusive and productive workplace that benefits everyone involved. In this article, we will explore the consequences of disconnection, the power of connection and understanding, and the role of facilitation in fostering these essential relationships.

The consequences of disconnection

Disconnection can be observed across various aspects of our society. In politics, the polarization of opinions and the entrenchment of viewpoints create a divide that prevents productive dialogue and collaboration. Social media platforms contribute to this divide by amplifying echo chambers, wherein individuals are exposed primarily to information that reinforces their pre-existing beliefs, further deepening the rift between differing perspectives.

Disconnection also permeates the workplace and organizational structures. Within companies, miscommunication, a lack of understanding, and unaddressed conflicts can create disconnects between individuals and teams, hindering progress and innovation. These consequences are not limited to large-scale issues; even seemingly minor incidents, like a disagreement over conference room usage, can cause lasting resentment and erode workplace relationships.

A striking example of the dangerous consequences of disconnection is the recent classified document leaks via Discord. The individual responsible for the breach was motivated by feelings of isolation and a desire for recognition. This act of cyber espionage demonstrates how disconnection and the need for validation can drive individuals to take extreme risks and engage in destructive behaviors.

The consequences of disconnection can even be observed at a cellular level. In a recent Rich Roll Podcast episode, Dr. Zach Bush discussed the origins of cancer originating from cellular disconnection in the human body. When cells become disconnected from one another, they may begin to malfunction and grow uncontrollably, resulting in cancer. This biological phenomenon parallels the societal consequences of disconnection, wherein isolation and detachment can lead to radicalization and unproductive behaviors.

“The eternal quest of the human being is to shatter his loneliness.”

– Norman Cousins

The power of connection and understanding

By fostering connection and understanding, we can counter the negative consequences of disconnection and create an environment where growth and collaboration thrive. Research consistently shows that diverse teams perform at higher levels when united by a shared purpose and understanding. Embracing and engaging with different perspectives not only sharpens our own viewpoints but also allows us to innovate and produce better products, services, and solutions.

A sense of belonging and purpose is crucial in the workplace. Employees often cite the team and the people they work with as key factors in job satisfaction. By building genuine connections and strong relationships, employees become more invested in the organization’s mission and feel a deeper commitment to their work. This sense of purpose is amplified when colleagues are able to collaborate effectively, respect each other’s opinions, and find common ground despite their differences.

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”

– Helen Keller

There is extensive evidence supporting the importance of connection and relating at work. For instance, a study published in the Harvard Business Review found that employees who reported feeling more connected at work were more likely to be engaged and productive while also demonstrating higher levels of well-being and job satisfaction (1). Furthermore, research has consistently shown that diverse teams perform at the highest levels thanks to their ability to generate innovative ideas and foster a culture of learning and growth (2).

Several books highlight the significance of connection and relating at work. In “Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect,” neuroscientist Matthew D. Lieberman explores the ways our brains are hardwired for social connection, emphasizing the importance of developing strong relationships in all aspects of our lives, including the workplace (3). Similarly, in “The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact,” Chip and Dan Heath discuss how creating meaningful, memorable experiences can foster deeper connections among coworkers and lead to a more engaged and satisfied workforce (4).

Connection and understanding are also vital for creating healthier organizations. Employees who feel connected and supported are more likely to engage in productive behaviors, contribute positively to the workplace culture, and stay committed to the organization’s goals. As a result, fostering connection and understanding not only benefits the individuals involved but also the organization as a whole.

Real-life examples of connection and relationships

Facilitators and leaders play a crucial role in fostering connection, understanding, and relationships within organizations. Creating the conditions necessary for open dialogue and collaboration can bridge divides and encourage growth through diverse perspectives.

Elena Farden is a Voltage Control Certified Facilitator, and her work as the Executive Director (ED) for the Native Hawaiian Education Council provides a compelling example of fostering connection and relationship building. As the ED, she is responsible for advocating for resources and support for Native Hawaiian education: expanding indigenous voices at the federal level.

One key aspect of her work is anchoring her vision in the connection to the land, with her entire portfolio serving as a metaphor for connection to land with sense of place. In a recent conversation, Elena shared an insightful quote about this connection: “Our connection to the land is the foundation of our identity and purpose. As we nurture this connection, we strengthen our relationships and responsibility to work together for the betterment of our community.”

Elena utilizes the ʻauwai, a Hawaiian irrigation system, as an approach to facilitation. She discussed how one part of the irrigation process involves tempering the water to avoid damaging the crops. This approach resonated with her as an analogy for addressing controversial topics in her work. Elena explained, “Just like the water tempering process, facilitation requires a gentle approach when dealing with sensitive issues. By creating a safe space for open dialogue, we allow for growth and understanding to emerge.”

In her role as the Executive Director, Elena has demonstrated the power of connection and relationships in driving positive change. She has gone to bat for the Native Hawaiian community, facing challenges and building connections between different stakeholders. Through her work, she has shown that fostering relationships and understanding are crucial elements in addressing complex issues and finding solutions that benefit everyone involved.

One of Elena’s most significant achievements has been creating opportunities for collaboration and dialogue between the indigenous community and the government. This has not only facilitated the allocation of resources for Native Hawaiian education but has also strengthened the ties between the two parties. In her words, “When we build connections and relationships with people from different backgrounds, we create a solid foundation for collaboration and understanding. This, in turn, leads to more effective solutions and a stronger sense of our collective responsibility to community.”

Elena’s story is a powerful testament to the importance of connection and relationships in both personal and professional settings. By nurturing these connections, we can create healthier organizations and communities where individuals feel supported, understood, and empowered to reach their full potential.

The South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC), established in 1995, serves as another powerful testament to the importance of connection and relating in the healing process of a nation. Born out of the wounds of apartheid, the TRC aimed to provide a platform for victims and perpetrators alike to share their experiences and confront the harrowing truth about the country’s violent past. As Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the chair of the TRC, famously stated, “Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies or our loved ones is not about pretending that things are other than they are… It is about finding a way in which to accept that which happened as that which happened, and then to move beyond it and to be willing to develop a new relationship.”

Through a process of public hearings, amnesty applications, and reparations, the TRC fostered understanding, forgiveness, and, ultimately, reconciliation among South Africans. The public hearings were instrumental in giving voice to the voiceless and allowing individuals to share their stories in a supportive environment. As one survivor, Nomonde Calata, poignantly said during her testimony, “Now that I have told the story, I feel like a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders.”

Despite its achievements, the TRC’s work was not without its challenges and controversies. Critics argue that the commission failed to hold all perpetrators accountable and that the reparations provided were insufficient to address the deep-rooted inequalities that persist in South African society. Nevertheless, the TRC’s efforts showcase the power of human connection in repairing deep-seated divisions and fostering a sense of unity.

By offering a space for individuals to engage with diverse perspectives and confront difficult truths, the TRC played a crucial role in helping South Africa move toward a more inclusive and equitable future. It demonstrated that open dialogue, empathy, and understanding can help build bridges between communities and lay the groundwork for healing.

The lessons learned from the TRC can be applied to various contexts, including personal relationships, community initiatives, and corporate environments. By fostering a culture of open communication and empathetic listening, we can encourage understanding, bridge divides, and create more harmonious relationships both in our personal lives and in the workplace.

In the workplace, facilitators can apply these principles by creating an environment where employees feel safe to express their ideas, engage with diverse perspectives, and collaborate effectively. This can be achieved through active listening, encouraging empathy, and fostering an atmosphere of trust and respect.

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”

– Ralph G. Nichols

Here are some tips for facilitators and leaders to foster connection and relationships at work:

1. Encourage open dialogue: Foster an environment where team members feel comfortable expressing their opinions and ideas, even if they differ from the majority. Set group agreements or commitments that ensure this openness. By encouraging open dialogue, we create opportunities for understanding and learning, which can lead to more informed decisions and innovative solutions.
2. Cultivate empathy: Make an effort to understand the perspectives and experiences of others, even if they’re different from our own. By practicing empathy, we can break down barriers, reduce prejudice, and build stronger connections with those around us.
3. Engage in community-building activities: Participate in initiatives that bring people together, both within your organization and your local community. This could include team-building events, volunteering, or joining local clubs or groups. These activities can help strengthen bonds between individuals and promote a sense of belonging.
4. Practice active listening: When engaging in conversations, make a conscious effort to truly hear and understand what the other person is saying without judgment or interruption. Active listening helps to build trust and rapport and can lead to deeper connections and more productive discussions.
5. Be mindful of the language we use: Words have power, and the language we choose to use can either build connection or create division. Be mindful of the words you use in your communication, and strive to choose language that is inclusive, respectful, and empathetic.
6. Embrace diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging: Make a conscious effort to create a diverse and inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and included, regardless of their background, beliefs, or perspectives. And lean into conversations and issues of identity, power, privilege, and justice. By embracing these approaches, we can benefit from the rich tapestry of ideas and experiences that each individual brings to the table and create a culture where all team members belong.

The Importance of Connection and Relationships 

The importance of connection and relationships at work cannot be ignored. By recognizing the negative consequences of disconnection and actively working to foster understanding, empathy, and collaboration, we can create a more inclusive and productive workplace that benefits everyone involved.

Facilitators and leaders play a critical role in promoting connection and relationships within organizations. By applying principles of empathy, active listening, and trust, they can bridge divides and encourage a culture of collaboration and growth.

As we continue to navigate an increasingly complex and interconnected world, nurturing connection and understanding at work is essential for building healthier organizations, driving innovation, and creating a more inclusive society.

“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

– Brené Brown

As we move forward, it’s essential to prioritize connection and relationships at work. Reflect on your own experiences and consider the ways in which you can nurture stronger connections and understanding within your organization. Remember, you have the power to create a positive impact on your team and the overall work environment.

Consider the following steps as you work towards fostering connection and relationships:

1. Assess your current work environment: Identify areas where you can promote understanding, empathy, and collaboration.
2. Engage in open dialogue: Encourage open and honest conversations about the importance of connection and relationships within your team.
3. Seek opportunities for growth: Look for ways to learn from diverse perspectives and foster personal and professional growth for yourself and your team members.
4. Share your experiences: Share your own experiences of connection and understanding with others, and learn from their stories as well.
5. Stay committed to the process: Building and maintaining strong connections and relationships takes time and effort. Stay committed to the process and recognize that growth and understanding may not happen overnight.

By actively working to build connection and relationships at work, we can create healthier organizations, foster innovation, and contribute to a more inclusive and equitable society.

Let’s make a conscious effort to prioritize connection, empathy, and collaboration in our workplaces and beyond.