A conversation with Jacques W Martiquet, International Party Scientist at The Party Scientist.
“What I often share with people is that oftentimes at a party, we’re doing things together, but separately. Like there’s this story we tell ourselves like, “Oh, I’m United with everyone around me,” but there’s actually very little eye contact. There’s very little touch. There’s very little attention that we put on each other in these maladapted party environments. So yeah, creating more of that sense of unity and belonging and seeing each other is something that, yeah, I’m obsessed with. And that’s why I have like a toolkit of hundreds of games and songs.” –Jacques W Martiquet
In this episode of Control the Room, I had the pleasure of speaking with Jacques W Martiquet about his time working as an International Facilitator who designs belonging experiences for people-first companies and unusual events. He shares why it’s ironic that the more he learns about facilitation and human connection, the less he identifies with the word ‘party’. Later, Jacques explains why his work as an EMT and obsession with public health, and specifically, the health benefits of human connection lead to his current career. We then discuss a few of his favorite terms like ‘fun quotient and the ‘threshold of acceptability. Listen in for inspiration on how to host your own events that put human connection first.
Show Highlights
[1:35] How Jacques Got His Start Working As A Party Scientist
[11:30] The Messy Process Of Being Human
[23:10] How To develop Trust At Large Gatherings
[31:00] How To Help Participants Celebrate Discomfort
Links | Resources
Jacques on LinkedIn
The Party Scientist Website
About the Guest
Jacques W. Martiquet is on a mission to end the rise of loneliness and depression. Known as the International Party Scientist, he has been interviewed by VICE, CTV, Global News, and Elle. After completing his degree in Pharmacology, he traveled to 13 countries igniting hundreds of sober parties in public spaces. During the pandemic, he started hosting virtual belonging and mental health experiences for Fortune 500 companies and large conferences. Jacques in action.
About Voltage Control
Voltage Control is a change agency that helps enterprises sustain innovation and teams work better together with custom-designed meetings and workshops, both in-person and virtual. Our master facilitators offer trusted guidance and custom coaching to companies who want to transform ineffective meetings, reignite stalled projects, and cut through assumptions. Based in Austin, Voltage Control designs and leads public and private workshops that range from small meetings to large conference-style gatherings.
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Full Transcript
Douglas: Welcome to the Control The Room podcast, a series devoted to the exploration of meeting culture and uncovering cures for the common meeting. Some meetings have tight control, and others are loose. To control the room means achieving outcomes while striking a balance between imposing and removing the structure, asserting and distributing power, leaning in and leaning out, all in the service of having a truly magical meeting.
Thanks for listening. If you’d like to join us live for a session sometime, you can join our weekly Control The Room facilitation lab. It’s a free event to meet fellow facilitators and explore new techniques so you can apply the things you learn in the podcast in real-time with other facilitators. Sign up today at voltagecontrol.com/facilitation-lab. If you’d like to learn more about my new book, Magical Meetings, you can download the Magical Meetings Quick Start Guide, a free PDF reference with some of the most important of device from the book. Download a copy today at voltagecontrol.com/magical-meetings-quick-guide.
Today I’m with a party scientist, an international human connection facilitator for festivals, conferences, and Fortune 500 companies. This guy is probably the best in the world at facilitating virtual and physical parties. Welcome to the show, Jacque.
Jacques: All right. Ready to party. Thank you so much, Douglas.
Douglas: Yeah, it’s good to have you here. So let’s hear a little bit about how you got your start in being a party scientist. Like what is the formation of a party scientist? What does that story look like?
Jacques: No doubt, no doubt. It’s so ironic because as I learn more and more about facilitation and human connection, I identify less and less with the word party. But it’s such a funny combination, and it’s such a great brand that I’ve stuck with it. But really, I’m obsessed with public health, and specifically, the health benefits of human connection. And ultimately, I believe singing, dancing, touching, and also playing, are really healthy human behaviors.
And this understanding of the public health benefits of partying came from really witnessing the carnage of party culture. I worked as an emergency medic as a beach lifeguard really involved in first aid. And I’d go to these festivals. I’d drive around a golf cart, and I would find unconscious teenagers and bring them back to the emergency doctors. And I’d also be roaming through the crowds of people partying, quote/unquote, and I’d notice people neglecting one another, and I’d notice people being very, very out of it. And these experiences led me kind of in this medical direction.
And so, I took some public health courses at the University of British Columbia. And then, eventually, I started to combine the two. And I started leading these massive flash mobs in my city. And I was a preacher of sober partying. And since then, it’s really evolved. And now the question I’m interested in is how do we facilitate the most nourishing gatherings where people connect intimately, playfully, joyfully?
Douglas: It’s really fascinating because when you mention this memory and the story around kind of seeing these people being out of it, it makes me think about how those moments can be so insular. Like everyone’s so alone, even though they might be partying together. It’s so much about their own personal experience and not their togetherness.
Jacques: I love what you’re saying. And what I often share with people is that oftentimes at a party, we’re doing things together, but separately. Like there’s this story we tell ourselves like, “Oh, I’m United with everyone around me,” but there’s actually very little eye contact. There’s very little touch. There’s very little attention that we put on each other in these maladapted party environments. So yeah, creating more of that sense of unity and belonging and seeing each other is something that, yeah, I’m obsessed with. And that’s why I have like a toolkit of hundreds of games and songs.
Douglas: Yeah. I come back to this notion. It’s interesting this sober partying. And it’s fascinating the more I think about it because I would say that the real issue is this lack of connectedness, this lack of unity, but oftentimes, I would say the drugs, the alcohol if that’s the main focus of the partying, then the unity is like second, third, or not even there at all. And so I guess removing the sobriety puts that focus on unity. And if someone were to have alcohol in their partying, maybe if it took a second, or third, or fourth, like order priority.
Jacques: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I just think there are so many other activities we could be doing in our gatherings. Like even at a dinner party, more broadly, like beyond partying, it’s like what do we do when we gather and socialize? We talk, we eat, we sit, and maybe really creative people will bring out board games. But beyond that, there are so many social technologies that we have that a lot of people are afraid to use these social technologies, which in our language, Douglas, is like liberating structures, games, authentic relating activities, and sentence prompts. And what I’m so excited about is giving the average human these social technologies to bring to their family dinner. How can we start these gatherings with connection and personal sharing? And the best most people do, and the best most party planners do is like, “Okay, I’m going to play some music. I’m going to have a DJ. And everyone’s going to drink and smoke because that’s great for consumerism.”
Douglas: So it brings me to this question around what are folks that are kind of in these situations where they might be planning a party or might be thinking about alternatives, how can they put that unity, put that connection? What are some of these ways that they can create a better space?
Jacques: Yeah, certainly, certainly. I have a framework that I developed over COVID and then sort of forgot about. I call it the fun quotient. And it’s like there’s emotional intelligence, and then there’s fun intelligence. And immediately, what comes to mind is really welcoming people and celebrating everyone that shows up, and then having an intentional opening ritual where the host demonstrates that it’s okay to take interpersonal risks.
So like, right off the bat, what happens? What are people primed to do when they arrive at our social gathering? I want their expression to be celebrated the instant they arrive in my space. And one thing, one concept that I have within the fun intelligence quotient is the threshold of acceptable expression.
Okay, so if we lower this threshold, then there are more levels of acceptable expression everywhere. But if the threshold is super high, then people are not going to be dancing, singing, and whatnot. And so we as hosts have to lower that threshold for people by embodying, embodying that expression, and embodying that fun. And to me, if we simplify psychological safety, psychological safety is like how willing, how safe do people feel to express themselves, not only critiquing another person or bringing up bad news but also like, do people feel comfortable dancing in front of others? Like dancing requires a lot of expression.
Douglas: Well, I guess I’m curious. The expression stuff makes sense. It also makes me think there’s this like performative element to dance, and to singing, and these other ways that people might not be normal. Well, they might not be used to expressing themselves in those ways. And so it’s like not only the environment but then personally, how comfortable they are and do they view it as performative.
And so I see the point you’re making around if it’s modeled. Even failure can basically lower the bar on that level of performance that we’re expecting. For instance, if you have an event where someone comes out on the dance floor, and they’re just tearing it up, and they’ve got all the moves, and they’re just like killing it, it can be entertaining, but is it going to get everyone on the floor? It maybe depends on how evocative or how addictive that person is and how much charisma they have. But certainly, it can be, can be scary because they’ve set a level, the level of that performance, and what other people have to live up to. That sounds like kind of what you’re kind of describing, right?
Jacques: I love this so much. I love the nuance here because if we’re hosting an event, and we’re performing, I believe like the opposite happens. People become less open to expression because they think that they should only take up space if they’re really good at something. And for me, dance and song, like yes, they are performing arts. But to me, there’s a whole different category of dance and song where it’s literally just about having fun and being lighthearted and being messy.
And I love this word. Messiness is a mindset that I have. And I describe it at the beginning of every single corporate session. Human fallibility, accepting our human fallibility and our clumsiness, it’s a messy process of being human. And I think that as facilitators if we acknowledge that and we demonstrate that we’re not perfect, we’re not going to speak super articulately, and we’re not going to dance really well, and we’re not going to sing like Beyonce, then other people are like, “Oh, wait a second. I don’t need to perform. I can just be myself.” It’s so paradoxical. Like sometimes when I’m performing at my highest performance, I’m actually doing the opposite as to my objective. My objective is to get the participants to express so much joy, connect with one another, and be completely unselfconscious. So it’s often contradictory to my goal.
Douglas:
Yeah. It’s fascinating. It makes me think too about when we’re doing kind of design thinking or any sort of creative-type workshop where we’re asking folks to draw or sketch or create, and there’s definitely a sentiment around, “I’m not creative, or I don’t know how to draw.” And ultimately, we’re just trying to get people to visually communicate their ideas. And this could be through metaphor, or just it’s more concrete when we can express things in those other ways because words are not our only way to express ourselves. And I think it’s another example of that performative nature of things because if they’re so concerned about the skill or the craft of design and how a designer might create something or an illustrator might draw something, then it can be very frightening to even put something out there because you might be judged relative to that.
Jacques: I love this example you’re using because I feel that. When I’m doing visual thinking exercises, I get into this mode where I’m like, “Oh, now I need to be an artist.” But I think the distinction is we’re not doing art. We’re communicating visually. And the same is with dance and song is, a lot of people regard it as an art. It’s performance art. But what I’m doing is very different. It’s not the art. It’s not meant to be spectated.
The other thing you mentioned is like all the other ways that we can communicate, Douglas, like in our sessions. So often, we’re just stuck in intellectualizer, talking mode. And what I’m so excited about is bringing in tools that create more of this empathetic communication, this energetic communication, bringing in the synchrony, the visuals, the touch. All these are other ways that we can communicate other than conceptualizing, talking, and intellectualizing.
Douglas: Well, it definitely taps into this lateral thinking type of territory because if we’re just conceptualizing, we can hit those roadblocks, like we’re just kind of like pounding our head against the wall, and it won’t come, it won’t come. But these other activities can unlock new pathways in the brain or inspire us to move past something that maybe has us stuck.
Jacques: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And just building off this, I’m thinking of play. I’m thinking of the imagination, and I’m thinking of an exercise that I get my participants to do when I’m leading workshops about fun and joy. And I get them to just imagine that they’re creating the craziest party experience ever. And I just get them to build off each other imaginatively with yes, and. And people will just come up with all this funny stuff.
But there’s this whole movement around playfulness in the workplace. And I use this in my social gatherings a lot. I’ll get people to adopt a different persona. Like I’ll get people to have a Star Wars battle, or I’ll get people to pretend it’s Mission Impossible. And it really, I think, gets people out of their identity, and it basically gets people into a new creative state where they’re no longer are thinking about who they are and who they need to be consistent with. And it’s like suddenly there’s this whole new realm of possibility for thinking and for play and for fun.
Douglas: Yeah. It’s like, certainly if we can create a judgment-free zone, then amazing things can happen. And that’s easier said than done because our brains are constantly pattern matching and judging, and even when we try not to. So what are some other ways that you kind of creates these spaces where people kind of get a little more liberated?
Jacques: Love that word, love that word. And just quickly say that I define a peak party experience by two things, liberation, and exhilaration. How do I liberate people? Well, I first just like set the context at the beginning of the party. I’m like, we have all these inhibitions. Let’s set an intention to get rid of them, like just putting it out there explicitly and just being like, “Hey, this is what I’m going to be doing.” And guess what? It’s good for our health. It’s good for our social bonds. And we’re also just going to enjoy ourselves so much more. So creating that context it’s not very technical, but that’s what I start with.
Douglas: Yeah. Yeah. It reminds me too, of a point you made earlier around just the importance of celebrating your guests. And so I’m curious, what’s your favorite way that you’ve celebrated a guest in the past?
Jacques: Oh, I love this question. And I want to hear yours too, Douglas, because I know you led an event in February. And I was hoping to come to that. So curious how you greeted people and your reflections on that. I am all about eye contact, touch, and like dance. So this is like my ideal conference greeting method is someone arrives, I look them in the eyes. I offer them a hug. I really tune into them. I’m not distracted. I’m not rushed. I’m not trying to get to the next person. And then I play their favorite song on my boombox, and I dance for them. And they may dance with me, or they just kind of laugh and are like, “Who’s this goofball? Oh my God, wait a second though. Subconsciously, I feel so much more able to be a goofball myself.”
Like that’s the subtext. So I love to play people’s favorite music. And the reason why I do that, Douglas, is because music and the brain and our mood and our physical energy are all related. And we can prime people. We can change people’s physiological state just by playing a song that has meaning to them. And so what I’m saying is because music and memory are so connected, someone’s favorite song is just going to put them into such an open state, a pro-social state, as I say. So, yeah, that’s what I’d do if I was leading a massive conference or South By Southwest. I don’t know.
Douglas: love it. That’s a lot of songs and a lot of dancing. So you might be a little tired by the end, but I think you’re maybe up for it. I’m also curious, you talked about touch being an element that you like to bring into your experiences. So what’s an example for our listeners that might be a little less experienced with bringing in kind of kinesthetic components?
Jacques: Totally, totally. I went to Burning Man, and I was actually the ambassador for the hug deli. And I learned a bunch of hugs there that are less intense. I’m a big fan of hand-holding. I get people to do a hand hug and look each other in the eyes. So you just put out your hand, wrap your thumb around the person’s hand and just take a breath and smile at the other person. That’s a hand hug. I actually recently just got people to mingle around at an event I led. And I just had them mingle around, put out their hand, connect with another person, just look them in the eyes and smile. And I just did that for like three minutes. I had people mingle around and hand hug one another with eye contact.
Now, what I also love to do is I’m a huge fan of huddles and circles. And so I get people to put their arms over top of one another. And usually, I set context within a huddle. So I get people into a huddle, and then I go into the center and I set the context. I say, “This is why we’re here. This is what we’re going to do. And let’s make this amazing for one another.” And I kind of get into that kind of crazy charismatic mode where I’m also self-deprecating myself, self-deprecating as a way to create that permission. Yeah. Do you have anything to add? Like what are those baby steps of touch in your facilitator philosophy?
Douglas: Well, certainly in this age, like the pandemic, it’s nice to at least bring back some physical things. So even just mailing people post-its and markers and potentially objects that they might share in common, or might have divergent objects. Maybe someone gets a little marble and someone else gets something else. Even just touching physical objects and having them in your hand, it’s like a kinesthetic version of doodling.
Jacques: Yeah. I love that so much. I talk a lot about oxytocin in my work, which is the trust neurotransmitter. And so for me, I really love that. And when I’m teaching people how to incorporate more fun and joy into their presentations, yeah, like basically not making it a presentation and just having participants like bring an item into their screen as an example and show and tell, or like interpret something through the item that they have.
Douglas: So this idea of joy in the presentations is a really awesome concept. So what other tips do you have for folks when they’re kind of asking about or endeavoring into punching things up?
Jacques: Yeah. Yeah. One thing that I teach in the fun intelligence quotient is the importance of being in a pro-social state. It’s the idea that your vibe is contagious. Okay. So one of the habits I share with everyone who comes through one of my workshops is the habit of checking in with your nervous system before you do a presentation, or before you lead a workshop. If you just have more expression in your voice and you’re moving in your hands and you’re smiling, just like I am right now, it’s so much more engaging and gravitating, and people feel safe.
So the habit that I introduce to people is check in with yourself and actually activate some positive emotions in yourself before you’re going into a presentation or before you’re going on stage. And you can do that through music. You can do that through movement. You can do that through looking over your Google photos and watching a video of yourself that brings you so much joy. You can do it through self talk.
The other thing that I’d say is just variety. Variety. We know this as people who’ve led a lot of online workshops. We don’t just want to leverage one type of media. And so, yeah, I mean, I just break up like all my presentations with demonstrations. And usually, the demos involve movement, involve some sort of fun thing, involve something in the chat. And it’s just like micro engagements throughout the entire presentation.
And then music. Music is also a piece here. And I actually have a database of music that just makes people laugh and stimulates joy. And remember, music is a great way to basically create a context and elicit different memories and different visuals. And so, yeah, if anyone wants to leverage more music in their sessions, you can check out The Party Scientist on Spotify, and there’s a playlist called Laugh. And it’s just a bunch of music that creates that permission for people to be their messy, goofy selves.
Douglas: Awesome. We’ll get that in this show notes so people can check those out. That’s awesome. So I did want to mention one thing you were talking about the energy you bring into the stage. And I once you had a speaking coach tell me that you should always run on the stage because that’s the most energy you’ll have in your entire performance because it always goes downhill from whatever you start with. So like start with as much energy as you can because everything will just tend to settle down.
Let me just kind of shift gears a little bit because I am really curious because you talk about the importance of kind of public health and how this work is really critical to helping people mentally and even physicality of its like both mental and physical. And I guess I’m curious when do you know if a group’s being pushed too far? Because often probably working with groups that are kind of outside of their comfort zone and that’s an important aspect of this. They’re in that space that they don’t spend a lot of time in. So what’s the difference between healthy discomfort and something that’s dysfunctional or unhealthy, and how do you know when to pull back?
Jacques: Wow. Oh gosh, maybe I’m going to write an article about this, Douglas. Well, I want your support in this question. Immediately what’s coming to mind is giving people really accurate expectations so that they are consenting to what is happening. And so before all my sessions, I send people a voice recording with what I’m going to do, with what we’re going to do together, with why we’re doing it. And I give people this accurate picture of what they’re consenting to. And I think what that enables is people to surrender to the experience. Okay, so that’s one thing.
The other thing that’s coming up is, one of my friends mentioned this when he was setting context at one of his workshops. He said, “Everything is an invitation and you are sovereign. You are the master of self. And at any point, you can decide to not participate.” Because I’m such a edgy facilitator, I do. I do leverage-positive peer pressure to foster higher engagement. And I do make it known that, “Hey, courage is necessary during this experience. And guess what? The more courage that you apply in this experience, the participants are going to benefit from you.” So I make that really clear, but I also make sure people know that like, “Hey, everything’s an invitation.” So that’s a part of creating context.
Now the last thing I would recommend is explicitly mentioning the … like getting meta. And what I mean by that is like, “Hey friends, we’re going to be doing this. You probably haven’t done it before. We’re going to be trying it out. We’re going to be experimenting with it. And if it doesn’t feel right, then you don’t have to do it.” But just being explicit about, “Hey, this is edgier. And there may be a little discomfort. And guess what? You get to choose how much you want to push yourself.” That really works as well.
Now, in my experiences, because they’re like a series of joy ignition exercises, a lot of that is implicit. One thing that I have a question about is this idea of like putting the spotlight on others without their explicit consent beforehand. So I will practice a lot of nominations during my sessions. I will spotlight people and be like, “Okay, would you like to lead a stretch?” I ask that. But really, I’m putting them on the spot and then they lead a stretch. But the secret, the secret to that is I get everyone to celebrate their expression so that suddenly they have this rush of validation and they feel really good. But yeah, this is a good question.
Douglas: No, that’s all good stuff. I think the consent piece is really interesting and kind of explored that with one of the podcast guests in the past, Madelon Guinazzo. She’s a cuddle facilitator. And as you might imagine, consent’s big part of the work because the facilitator has the consent, and the participant has the consent, and there’s clear boundaries that need to be established. And in other work, it’s not quite so strict maybe, but consent nonetheless being really important.
And I would say understanding the room would be really important. Like who is going to be there and what are they bringing with them? Because if they’ve experienced some trauma that we might be re-triggering, that’s important to know. To your point around putting people in the spot and things, is there a preexisting rapport that we built that we can leverage to start doing some of that early modeling? Because I think what you with the applause too, is really awesome from the standpoint of, “Hey, not only did we call on them and they shared, but now everyone’s celebrated them.” So, that’s cool.
Jacques: Yeah. And just building off this consent piece, we as facilitators need to be very clear on what we are asking consent for. And I don’t want to trick people into expanding their comfort zone. I want people to know exactly what I’m guiding them through so that they can give a full hell yes. And so, this all comes before the workshop. So like really, all I got to do is then just do what I do. Like I lead my exercises. I put the instructions in the chat. And people, they feel empowered to say no, and they know what they consented to. They know they’re going to gets spotlit if they have their videos on. And they know that when they do get spotlit on Zoom or in person, I put them in the middle. They put themselves in the middle. They know that this is benefiting the rest of the group. And so there, isn’t this kind of context of like, “Oh, like this is uncomfortable. I’m getting all this attention.” It’s more like, “Oh I’m doing this for others. I’m not just doing this for myself.”
Douglas: Yeah. So I’m really curious when you think about all the sessions you’ve run, what’s one story that pops to mind that is just super memorable, exciting, maybe the most exhilarating memory that comes to mind?
Jacques: Yeah. Well you notice, like in my voice, in my face, like already just thinking about this memory, I’m getting myself into such a more pro-social state. And so going back to what we were saying beforehand, so much of our success as facilitators is just like our vibe. What’s coming to mind is this holiday party I did, this virtual party I did for a group of radiologists. It was the University of British Columbia radiology department. And we had a group of about 50 participants. I had two co-facilitators who were essentially my undercover hype humans. And we’re doing this exercise where people bring an item into the screen and just like move it up and down or just like dance with it. And this is later on in the experience. We begin with a stretch and a meditation.
And so people have their blood going. And so every time we spotlight people, it’s like they have that in their house? Like what is going on? And everyone just starts to laugh. And so we’re going through, and we’re spotlighting everyone, and people are having fun. And then, we in this one man, who’s probably like 70 years old, and he is dancing with an Olympic torch, Douglas. He has an Olympic torch in his hand. And the whole crowd’s just laughing. And it’s what? How did this guy get an Olympic torch?
And so that was a really highlighted moment. Especially, Douglas, I love seeing age diversity in terms of joy expression. And I find that it’s so much more acceptable to be playful and joyful as a young person. And as we age, we’re wiser, and we’re serious. And like, man, I love a good dance part with age diversity. And so I think that was a really special part of it as well because, Douglas, I don’t see my parents dancing a lot. Like I wish they would be a little bit more playful and come to some of my bike raves, silver bike raves.
Douglas: Maybe we’ll have to do a little workshop on how do we get them there? I do you have one question about this amazing session that you’re describing. Was the torch lit?
Jacques: Well, see, that’s what I have to follow-up about because we’re going to be doing our next party soon, and I’m going to ship everyone an Olympic torch, and we’re all just going to fire up the dance floor. No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t. But it had been lit, which meant he had held the torch for a portion of the tour.
Douglas: Amazing. That’s so cool. So it does bring up another question that I had for you, which was in person or virtual?
Jacques: Oh, I love it. I love it. It’s a false dilemma to me. Listen, I started designing virtual parties in March, and I was a total idiot, and I didn’t even know how to share audio through Zoom. And we hit the ground running. And after a hundred virtual parties, I get people high on life. And guess what? I get high on life. It blows my mind how much fun I have when I am facilitating a really positive virtual party with like 30 or more people. It’s incredible that it’s possible. And I think the reason why people may have pessimism toward the virtual world is because there’s few party scientists out there and there’s few really adept facilitators who are able to make it fun and joyful and energizing. And this is a science that I’ve cultivated over hundreds of virtual events.
Ultimately though, Douglas, I believe one of the healthiest parts of human connection is touch. And so the highlights of my life, the peak experiences of my life have been facilitating what I call a mega drop. So I have people in a giant circle in like a public square somewhere. And this is what we do on Canada Day every year, but no longer. I have everyone at the drop in the music, and it’s like a really big buildup. It’s like the anticipation for everybody. And I have everyone run into the center respectfully, responsibly, and I have them join hands with two people and just jump up and down. And there’s the touch, and then there’s the proximity. And both of those I can’t replicate. I cannot replicate that intensity, that liberation, and exhilaration on Zoom. I just can’t.
Douglas: It’s interesting. There’s some truth there on the virtual points, as well as there’s lots of things that just can’t be replicated. And I think that’s where a lot of people get in trouble is just trying to replicate things that are great in person without actually looking at what’s possible in virtual and just embracing what it can do. And then you start to get in a territory where now it’s like, well, now that we’re in person, we can’t do this other thing. And so you start to look at them as unique individual things that are beautiful in and of themselves. And specifically, that torch moment you described would never have been possible in person because it was an artifact in his home that he was sharing because he was at home. That’s a type of connection. So there’s a kinesthetic connection, but there’s also this kind of like connection into our lives that has started to happen through virtual.
Jacques: Right. Douglas, the number of times I’ve had parents bring their children into the virtual experience. It’s so beautiful. And, and ah, it’s just like, I just get tears of joy when I see these children. And just like, they’re the ones leading the party. It’s so beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you.
Douglas: Well, I know we could go on and on and on, but we are nearing our end, and I want to make sure that I leave us time for you to leave our listeners with a final thought.
Jacques: Thank you. Thank you. My favorite quote, your developmental success is based on the joy of the people around you. This speaks to me. And I also just want to say that joy and fun are both ends and means. They’re super healthy. They’re really good for us. But they also unlock creative thinking. They promote social bonds. And they’re really good for our health. Like we could regard them as a healthy habit. And so they’re both ends and means. And this is why I prioritize joy at the beginning of my sessions. I incorporate joy and fun all over, micro moments, 30 seconds within my sessions that are more academic and educational.
The last thing I’ll say is I’ve devoted my life to studying how to facilitate joy. And I tell people I’m the only PhD in party science. I’m working on it. I don’t have a real PhD, but I have a bachelor’s degree in pharmacology. But I write. I write about this in my private blog, it’s called Joy Lab. And anyone listening, just reach out to me or go to my website, and I can give you a free subscription for you to check out. So that’s Joy Lab. And that’s really it.
Douglas: Awesome. Well thank you for sharing. And we’ll make sure to get the website and a few other things came up that I think would be good for us to drop into the show notes. So we’ll get all that stuff in for everyone to reference, the Joy Lab as well as party scientist. Fun so that everyone can check this stuff out. And it’s been a pleasure chatting with you, Jacques, and I hope you have a joyful day.
Jacques: Woo.
Douglas: Thanks for joining me for another episode of Control The Room. Don’t forget to subscribe to receive updates when new episodes are released. And if you want more, head over to our blog where I post weekly articles and resources about working better together, voltagecontrol.com.
